Warning: This approach will seem counter-intuitive. And it’s deep. But trust me, it works.
We’ve all been there… in a funk. Everything feels off. Maybe a little or maybe a lot. Maybe it creeps up and feels worse at times, and other times you can move past it or write it off as just a bad day.
But things are going more wrong than right no matter how much you try to gloss it over or tell yourself you just need to look at the bright side and maybe amp up your positive affirmation game.
No amount of band-aids or blanketing will remove the funk. It’s like a black hole, with a gravitational pull so strong it feels inescapable. No matter how hard you try to carry on or push through, or keep your chin up, it’s dark.
No matter what you do or how many times you tell yourself to simply accept it. It’s still there, haunting you.
You may be afraid that it will consume you, if you dare to look at it. To truly see what is. Because what is… it’s the cold hard truth. And what if you can’t handle the truth?
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying, The only way out is through…
Be Gentle AND Get Real.
Yes, it is possible to be kind and gentle with yourself while also being brutally honest with yourself about a sucky situation at the same time. While we have been conditioned to think that things are always one or the other, in every which way. We live in a realm of paradoxes. The reality is it’s both and, not either or.
The gentle part is about giving yourself permission to even go there, and resist the temptation to judge or criticize what you’re thinking or feeling.
Then, the reality check. What is it that’s causing the funk?
Get really real with yourself. What actually sucks? What are you not wanting to really feel or look at? What are you absolutely sick of? What cannot you not seem to shake or let go of?
Stop trying to make it out to not be that bad or compare your situation to anyone else’s. Don’t downplay it or write it off.
Sometimes the MOST loving thing you can do for yourself is be real about what’s going on… the actual situation AND your thoughts & feelings about it, however negative or ugly or seemingly unwarranted they are.
Welcome to the Party.
Your very own pity-party. That’s right. I’m saying it’s OK, even necessary when you’re really in a funk, especially if it’s gone on for some time, to throw yourself an all-out pity party.
Grab a pen and paper and go to town. I mean that — pen and paper. It’s incredibly cathartic to get it out in writing, it’s an emptying process as my friend Stella would say. [She’s actually got a great little piece she’s written about that here.]
Write down every single little thing that you’re sick of. Every feeling that comes up when you look at the situation as it actually is.
The aching, the sorrow, the have’s & have nots, the shoulds and should’ves.
The melodramatic and the validated.
All the ways things have gone wrong, and the failures, and disappointments.
The hurt and the spite, the unfairness and the deceit.
((If you feel like you need someone to hold space for you to do this, trust yourself and reach out to a close friend, counselor or coach. There is absolutely no shame in that.))
Let the tears fall where they may. And let them be ok. Take as long as you need. Let it flow until it’s exhausted, until there’s nothing left to write. Let your heart ache and break and breathe.
Listen to what comes through you next.
Your Soul may softly speak to you. You may feel a gentle hand on your shoulder, and simply know without a doubt your loved one is there. Or a humble peacefulness settles in, reminding you that your Angels are with you. Your Divine Support Team may loudly chant a pep-talk to lift you up. New ideas may come to mind effortlessly, that allow you to see new possibilities or solutions.
Where once was a jumbled frustrating mess of mixed messages and doubt, now your intuition may seem fresh and even amplified.
It becomes clear to us what we CAN change and what we can’t. It makes it a little easier to loosen our grip on on the things we cannot. It makes a little easier to do something different when you see the situation more clearly.
That’s what happens when we allow ourselves to be raw and vulnerable and you know, human.
It may feel like a black hole sucking us into the deep & unforgiving darkness at first… But it’s really much more like a worm hole. A short-cut to get to the other side.
Once you’ve arrived on the other side. Follow through with some loving-kindness. You may feel like doing something for yourself you haven’t done in a while or have neglected. You may notice something that no longer matches how you feel inside, because you feel different. You feel better.
You may feel like cleaning or taking a bath or going for walk. You may even feel like shredding the paper that you wrote everything down on. Whatever inkling you get, follow through with it.
The Energy of it all
It requires so much of our energy to resist our own emotions. The more time we spend avoiding, or pretending it’s not there, the more it swells within us like virus, and eventually it kicks into overdrive. And like a virus, it gradually starts killing off the good stuff… we start to overlook or not appreciate the good things in our lives. We numb out, check out and disconnect. It sucks the life-force out of us.
When we dare to go THROUGH it and see it for what it is and feel how we really already feel deep down… Magic happens.
We release. We purify. We heal. We open. Up.
Our luck starts to change, our attitude shifts. We get a boost of new vitality. It’s a rebirth.